Instead of periodic flare ups of painful inflammation of muscles and joints we are left dealing with periodic flare ups of our children’s painful struggles to come to terms with our divorces, flare ups of our own painful struggles to come to terms with divorce and episodic painful dealings with our divorced spouses.
If they didn’t meet the following characteristics we look for in a dating site, we gave them the review they deserved – a negative one.
The sites we gave positive reviews to had many things in common.
It takes a history of consistent contacts, continuity of conversations and emotional connecting to build authentic, reliable and sustainable relationships. It’s at this time the edge is taken off the urgency to be magnets for each other.
We begin to put into focus the outlines of the people we have been pursuing as three dimensional people as distinct and separate from needs gratifying objects.
We also thank those families who were willing to spend valuable hours with our team in interviews, and the many students who assisted in conducting the interviews.