Because if you’re morally and ethically ok with that, then you date really horrible men and you deserve the men you date. And when your guy cheats on you and makes your life hell, you deserve it.
But for everyone else, seriously, it is imperative that we respect the institution of marriage. Most of us hope that our marriages will last forever. Simply put, dating married men is completely wrong.
We may be imagining all sorts of problems that may or may not exist or we’re rationalising our own boundaries, values, and even prior experiences of being in one of these situations (so knowing that we may struggle with the emotional consequences) and are thinking along the lines of, ‘Well…
I’m of a certain age so I need to prepare myself for turning a blind eye to any code amber / red actions and indications because people in this age group tend to be recently broken up / separated / divorced‘. There’s no easy answer to the question of what the ‘right time’ is for dating a separated or recently divorced person.
If you find out your guy is in this situation, tell him to call you back when his marriage is OVER. I didn’t start dating in earnest for seven months post-split and when I did, there was zero chance of any reconciliation ever. If you find yourself post-split and are ready to start dating, you need to think very clearly about your motives. You must focus on you, your children, your divorce proceedings, and your life first.