Stating your demands as "I" statements instead of "you" statements can be very effective, she says.
So rather than spitting out something like, "You never want to spend time with me alone," you could kindly say, "I really wish we got to spend more time alone together.""You can also frame your request as a positive, rather than a negative," Derhally says.
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For example, if you told your partner, "If you want to be with me, I don't want you hanging out with your friends," that would be unhealthy because you're asserting power over your partner in an unfair way.
Ultimatums aren't always manipulative like this, though, and they can be a healthy way to solve a conflict, Derhally says."If an ultimatum is made as a boundary to protect yourself and do what's best for yourself, then it's a good thing," Derhally says.
At a.m., Channing knocked on Jenna’s hotel door since “he couldn’t stop thinking about [her].” She shared, "I go and open the door — he’s going to kill me for this — and he has [on] underwear, a sombrero and Ugg boots, and he’s like, ‘Let’s do this.’“ Channing spent the night in Jenna’s room and the rest is history!
The two married in 2009 and welcomed their daughter Everly in 2013.
And yesterday, Jenna revealed that the reason why they ended up together is because she gave him an ultimatum..