Ask her what she likes and ask for what you want in a positive way.
Diana Kirschner advises saying something along the lines of, "I would really love if you [fill in the blanks]." When you have an off night and can't perform, she feels bad, too.
"You’ve got to figure out if there’s a certain look that she likes," says Diana Kirschner.
"If she likes a guy in tight jeans, you wear tight jeans." OK, this tip doesn't come from women, but from clever testing by psychologists of women's subconscious preferences. Nothing captures a woman's heart quite like a good man who wants to be a better man, according to love guru Diana Kirschner.
One intriguing study found that the colour red made men seem more powerful, attractive and sexually desirable to women, There’s a caveat, though. "Women love personal growth; they love a man who is thoughtful and sensitive." She likes it when her man recognises a flaw - a short temper, for example, or a regularly sullen mood after work - and loves it when he makes an effort to address it.