It was perfectly clear to me then that I was gay I really didn’t know why, but I felt the way my older brothers felt when they talked about girls or when my sister talked about boys.
Time passed and I became frantically aware of myself looking at boys and feeling it was wrong created my own world to hide myself from everyone.
Most everyone has excepted that I am gay even my mother, when I told her she said she never knew but was happy that I am happy and responded to me by asking me if she now had her little Billy back in her life for good.
I responded with a tearful yes, we have spent over a decade of our lives not talking to each other and I can say it was all a waste of precious time.
Our marriage was failing, I tried to commit suicide and things just spiraled down hill and it is to where I am at now in life.